I'm interested in tents

October/2004: Spam - I'm really interested in tents. I didn't know I was interested in tents, but then the email told me so.

------ Original Message -----
From: richard
To: angrygerman@angrygerman.com
Sent: Wednesday, October 27, 2004 6:38 PM
Subject: Mumienschlafsack

To Whom It May Concern,

We have learned from the Internet that you are interested in tents. We have been in the tent manufacturing business for many years and are currently in the process of expanding and our customer base. We are quite excited about contacting you and the potential for establishing friendly business relations with you as well as sharing the mutual benefits.

We specialize in high quality, high performance tents offered to our cutomers at competitive prices. We are able to supply a wide variety of tents manufactured to the specifications and requirements of the customer. We would be interested in receiving more information from you so we could submit a suitable offer to you.

Feel free to view our website: www.qycamping.com

If you do not wish to receive any more information, please let us know and we will take you off our mailing list. We are awaiting your favorable response.


Richard Zheng
Marketing Director
Qyield (Xiamen) Camping Products Co., Ltd
4/F., No. 20, Huaguang Rd. Huli, Xiamen, China.
Tel: +86 592 5658478
Fax: +86 592 5744311
E-mail: richard@mainhouses.com
Web Page :www.qycamping.com

That is spam. But that is spam I like. I like this spam. I consider myself an expert on spam. I get a lot of it. I receive well over five hundred pieces of spam email a day. You know, the same shit you get, just times fifty. Cock enlargers, porn websites, home financing, prescription pills, out-of-this-country scammers and political junkmail.

But very rarely do I get email telling me that I'm interested in tents. I'm actually not interested in tents. Truly, it's an item I never have need of, since I refuse to camp. But I really like getting an email telling me that I'm interested in tents. It's unique. If I were rich, I'd probably order a tent from this Chinese guy just to reward him for giving me a chuckle at 1:15 AM. I'd even tell him so. But I'm not rich.

So perhaps, over in China, Richard Zheng will do a google search for his name. And perhaps he'll see that his spam actually brightened my night. Sure, he'll be disappointed that I'm actually not interested in tents (not to mention the fact that I have no money), but at least he's getting some free publicity. Speaking of which, let's get to that... AngryGerman.com says: "Are you interested in tents? If so, buy one from Dick Zheng. He's one helluva guy."

Know what makes my blog superior to most?

I waited until the end to go with the obvious "Buy a Dick's Tent" joke.

New Writing: SuperVillain Team-up review

October/2004: Shillery Central - I just posted my first comic book review at thepopcult.com (and I posted it here) but I'm only going to link you to The Pop Cult review since it looks pretty damn dandy over there. If you can read small text: Click this link. If you can't read the text size on that page, hit up the review in "other topics" here at AngryGerman.com.

But really, just click the Pop Cult link :)

If you like the review, post some feedback for it in the Pop Cult forums. It's a fun review site, and you should read it. I write there. Duh.

I'm in heaven... yes, I'm in heaven...

October/2004: Great Pirate Treasure - Some things are just too beautiful for words to accurately express.

Pez Heaven!

I recently received a case of Pez. It's all there on that chair. It won't be there long. Thank you very much, person that sent it!

Time to O.D. on Pezzy goodness :)

The Police and a Media Blitz

October/2004: PeeJ Happenings - We last left off on the KT situation with a unique look at the conversations that lead to the recovery of the 14 year old. As awful as it sounds to say, the aftermath may be more interesting. Most of you who would visit know all about this, but I write this website for me, as a personal archive... so that when I'm 52 and nearing the end of my life, I can look back and read what happened half a life before. My memory is atrocious, and it will only get worse.

I woke up on the Monday after knowing what we had done, with the recovery of this 14 year old. Frankly, I've never awoken more confused. Even today, it's surreal. I still have to step outside of my own 'self' to write about it, because it makes no sense even today. None. It makes no sense. But I'm getting ahead of myself...

Monday, after awakening, I started wondering exactly what had happened. The night before, I received a voice message from the lead detective on the case thanking us for what we did and giving complete credit for her recovery to us. Most people would jump on that and go be happy. I awoke decidedly unhappy.

From reading up on everything the girl had done online, I found many log-in's to this certain poetry website. Hell, I even found two comments left on the website by the girl dated September 6th. We gave the information to the cops to get this girl on September 12th, in the afternoon. We were informed about this entire case by the mother on the 8th, basically, given the information about her online habits late on the 10th, early on the eleventh. And on Sept. 12th, we were able to give the information to the police.

Fact is, we did nothing that was all that hard. We were prepared to. We were prepared to plop into her IM account, add ourselves, and obtain an IP. We were prepared to monitor her activities and possibly hit her with a link in IM that if clicked on, would have recorded it. But we didn't need to do any of that. Instead, the information vital to her recovery laid in plain sight as early as September 6th.

Now, before I get ahead of myself, let me explain. Getting her IP from the admin of that website took a couple emails and phone calls. Finding out about that website only took a talk with the mother of the girl. That is not technically sophisticated. Hell, most of you with computers would know how to do the same exact thing. In fact, it may have been one of the first things you thought of, as it was for me in my conversation with Harvey. That is not difficult.

So why wasn't she back on Sept. 6th? That was the point that bothered me. When I woke up, that was the first question I had. Why not a week prior? Why did this person have to suffer an additional week in captivity? And at that point, I didn't even have an inkling as to how bad it really was for her. Thinking about it now is just as infuriating.

I woke up, turned on my computer with my foot as I do every morning, and immediately woke up to read a press release from Clark County claiming that they found the IP off the girl's computer and then put the pieces together. Annoying, but not unexpected. The detectives don't write their own press releases, a police spin-person does. That police spin-person turned out to be Det. Dave Trimble. At that point after the press release, I didn't hate him.

I do now.

I received an email a couple hours later from KGW-TV here in Portland. That's the NBC Affiliate for you non-Portlanders. They had heard that we were involved from the mother and wanted to know more. Called the guy and we haggled on travel time to the KGW studios and I debated if I wanted to do the interview. About that time, KOIN-TV's email arrived... they wanted to talk about "internet safety" in general, unaware that we had any role in the KT recovery. I decide to hoof it down to KGW-TV. At this point, I'll give a rundown of the four major news stations here.

KGW-TV: Channel 8 in Portland, the NBC affiliate. I had been down there once before to do a satellite uplink with Miami. It was a disaster in my book. I turned up late because I couldn't find their station and then proceeded to cut a shitty interview with Miami. Then I left. Simple as that, no real experience with them other than watching Tracy Barry during my teen years. I like Tracy Barry. She's not a "supermodel" anchorwoman, she's just a regular female newscaster. I would have liked to met her. Oh well.

KOIN-TV: Channel 6 in Portland, the CBS affiliate. I did an interview there once before with Mike Donahue, who I literally grew up watching and told him so. Sadly, I don't think he took that as a compliment. KOIN-TV has the nicest headquarters out of the three Portland-area newscasters. It's a beautiful building right in the middle of downtown, across from a pretty dandy pizza place.

KATU-TV: Channel 4/2 in Portland, the ABC affiliate. I dislike ABC affiliates in general, since we've had conflict with the ABC National News division... readers of PeeJ remember the ABC National News producer who ended up at our first Group Media Bust. Also, in general, I hated KATU growing up. They had this terrible helicopter gimmick a while back where they had two choppers. They called it "the power of 2" or some-such tripe. It was terrible. Played the commercials constantly and made such a big deal out of having two helicopters. I hate helicopter feeds, even when I was twelve. Ended up with one of the choppers crashing (no deaths) while hauling logs. Hated to say it, but I was glad to see it go. Absolutely had no personal history with KATU, other than turning them down for a Group Media Bust.

KPDX-TX: Channel 49 in Portland, the FOX affiliate. I love these guys. These guys are my favorite station to do anything with. I did my first-ever on-camera interview with them (which was shot way too close and from the side, making me look 400 pounds. Bastard LLR), we did our Portland GMB with them (First GMB with contributors busting from inside the same house as the pervs were arriving) and another newsbit that wasn't nearly as memorable. The Fox guys are nice as hell, relaxed and mostly young. They're just fucking great to deal with.

Those are the four major stations. Now, obviously, I like the FOX affiliate. I also like KOIN. But in all cases of PeeJ Media, our rule is that we don't contact the media, they contact us. So KGW-TV got the first email in, and I was off to KGW-TV. Once I finally got to the MAX station, I hop on, and it's an oh-so-fun MAX ride downtown to KGW. As I hit downtown, the phone rings. Frag tells me that KATU is looking for me. I call them, and they're talking to the mother but want to talk later.

I hit KGW half an hour early and tell the receptionist who I'm there to see. I go to sit down in their plush lobby (I give KGW that, they have the best lobby, with a giant HDTV broadcasting their newsfeed). Well, the receptionist never actually gets ahold of the reporter/producer for me so I sit there for half an hour.

And that's when I get to finally see Dave Trimble, speaking on the Noon feed of KGW-TV.

Now, prior to this, I was "meh" about the guy. Sure, he lied in the press release, but fuck, I expect that. I did not expect what I got to see on the news though. First, this guy looks like a complete prick. Maybe I'm wrong, but the guy just strikes me as one of those people I wouldn't go near with a ten-foot pole. He simply looks like a jerk. So I'm sitting there, listening, and he's taking credit, and he's then... blaming... the... victim... for... her... own... dis...appearence. Blaming the 14 year old for her own abduction? Saying that she was a "runaway"? Bullshit. And the worst part? This guy wasn't even the lead detective in charge! He was just some 'face' they put out there to spin the story to attack the victim and make themselves look good.

I literally flipped off the TV. Literally, I shit you not. I rose my hand up, flipped off the TV and said "Fuck you." I'm not sure how many people have sat in KGW's lobby and flipped off their own newsfeed, but I'm thinking it's not very many. At that point, it was "bash the police" time. Prior, I was just going to talk about internet safety, how we found KT, and express joy at her being back. I was going to give the cops a free ride. Hey, being a cop is tough. It's not an easy job and they have to deal with a lot of shit-heads, each and everyday, face to face. So I figured I'd give them a free pass. But not after seeing that fuckhead Trimble run his face.

After the segment was over, I called the producer at KGW from the lobby and basically told him that I was there and tired of waiting. I then went up and brutalized the Clark County police. I told every stupid thing they did, and didn't do. I mentioned every gaffe, every screw-up, and every single thing that indicated clear as day, that they didn't care about that kid. The producer seemed shocked. Hell, even the cameraman got in on the action, which is the first time I've seen that. After cutting a blistering half an hour interview, I left KGW even madder. After finally spelling it all out, the whole picture fell into place. They simply did not fucking care.

I immediately called KOIN and set-up the interview properly, and went in there with the intention of taking a segment about "internet safety" and turning it into the "Great Dave Trimble Roast." I got a few plain-jane quotes about internet safety in, but I did another twenty minutes on Clark County. During the interview, the phone rang from the Columbian newspaper, which was another first... media calling while I was doing media. Goofy. Again, the KOIN people were professional as hell and had amenities that are to die for. After cutting that interview, I knew the bets were hedged. If KGW didn't run the piece "right", I knew KOIN would... or vice versa.

At this point, I'm so mad that I'm basically dying to know if FOX-49 was interested. I get in touch with someone who can check my computer and there's nada, according to them. Unfortunately, they missed the email from LLR trying to get ahold of me.

While I'm riding back, I get ahold of the Columbian reporter, who reads me off Trimble's comments. They were as sickening as the ones she ended up printing. The fact that they "can't go after every runaway" and that the victim brought it upon herself. He even suggested that what he says she is "into" made it so that her case wasn't a priority. I blasted that shit to the reporter and got as angry as I've gotten in over four years. I can't imagine what the poor reporter was thinking, because I was in hardcore debate mode, attempting to mow down Trimble.

I get home, email LLR and wait for FOX. Nothing. I catch the news and I was right. KGW didn't run it how I wanted during the first airing (Airing Trimble attacking the kid again more than my savaging of Clark County, but KOIN went with my comments about Clark County. And then I got to see another Trimble interview where he bashes the victim and the victim's family. Tired as hell, I decide to make sure things are set-up with KATU.

KATU doesn't have the nicest place. It's over on NE Sandy and it's pretty... well, ghetto compared to the other three stations. Nice people though. Nice genuine people. They set-up our interview in the poor IT guy's office. The reporter was literally amazed at the whole story behind Trimble and Clark County. I knew she "got it" and that I wasn't some punk idiot bashing the police. She really, really was concerned, and you could tell. That's rare when dealing with reporters. I knew they would run it the right way. It was patently obvious.

Get home to catch the 11PM news. All three stations led off with the story, KGW using more of my stuff, KOIN doing a brief touching on it, and KATU running the best segment I've seen on the entire affair. They led off with my "most inept, incompetent investigation I've ever seen" soundbite and followed up with five minutes of complete and utter slaughter on Dave Trimble and Clark County. The story, which had started out as the "heroic cops saving the troubled girl who REALLY is at fault" become "incompetent police, girl lucky to be rescued." The story had been reversed to finally be accurate, and it only took twelve hours of my time to do so.

That was tiring, not to mention coming back online to at least twenty IM's heaping praise. Which really, is even more tiring... sigh.

The next day I get the fine folks at KPDX, who were pretty miffed at being last, probably half-pissed at me for not calling them. I made sure to get way out in the boonies to their beautiful headquarters (Nicer than KOIN if you discount location, location, location) to cut some tape with my favorite station. I meet local anchorman Wayne Garcia who wasn't at all the colossal dickhead I expected, instead he was a cool, nice, funny guy who stood there and talked to me for about ten minutes without any cameras around about the case and everything involved. And he actually was interested. That's crazy. Cut a decent interview with them, and Garcia asks me if I'm a nazi, as prompted by LLR. Absolutely hilarious. That's a black guy and a latino, I'm working my way through all the ethnic interviewers and that question. Fox also got the first interview with the girl, which... while I didn't think she should be doing interviews, I'm glad she gave it to KPDX. Their story was very good, as they always are. Next time I'm giving in and just calling. Jesus.

Still, Trimble was out there being an asshole. By this point I launched our campaign to get this case noticed by politicians and government officials in Washington state. The PeeJ'ers came through as they always do, writing letter after letter after letter and digging up every Washington st. contact known to man. Demanding and demanding a public apology from Dave Trimble. Yet Trimble was still out there giving bullshit interviews. He hit up the Oregonian to further slur the family and victim, but after that, the pressure finally got him to shut up with his lies and slurs.

Still, we won the media blitz for TV and Print. Stations from Portland to Seattle ran the truth against Clark County. Letters continued to pour into government offices. The sad part is that nobody thinks they have responsibility over a mere detective. Pathetic, really. Even if you don't have direct authority over them, a letter goes a long way. Some concern, perhaps? Something?

The semi-good news is that the attention and pressure finally got Trimble to give an apology, but it was half-hearted. He refused to meet the family face-to-face, and his apology lays blame at my feet for his stupid, stupid media comments. He claims that the media reporting against the police is what prompted his comments, but it simply isn't true. I saw his comments before I gave my first interview of that day. He had started out trying to get ahead of the truth, and even now, when it's known to all, he sits back trying to blame everyone else but himself for his vulgar slurs, lies and attacks upon a victim. A victim who deserves more credit for her recovery than anyone else involved.

I really hope I never have to be involved in such a whirlwind media campaign. I don't see how people do it. It's tiring. The cameras and repetition is positively a nightmare. Had the story not been so important, and the police not been so insensitive and evil about the case, there would have been no reason to do it. It wasn't exactly enjoyable and the demands of the media on time are very, very aggravating. However, it served it's purpose somewhat, as the mugging of the girl in the media ceased, and the mugging of Dave Trimble began. It was very effective.

And I'm never driving through Clark County now.