More searches that lead to my site

November/2004: Search Engine Results - Every once in a while I check my stat-tracking and see some goofy search engine results. Tonight, it's a good mix of goofy and meaningful. Well, mostly goofy.

24 Nov, Wed, 12:45:20 Yahoo: xavier von erck

This is the best search engine result possible. If you're looking for Xavier Von Erck, you should hit this website. WHY you would be looking for me is pretty suspect. First, to click a link to after searching for me means you didn't know that I had this website before you went looking for me. So that means you didn't know me at all. Or PeeJ, because I link to here from my PeeJ staff profile.

Very odd.

24 Nov, Wed, 12:57:14 Google: ┬┤┬┤describe spain situation in 1808 why this time turned into a link to start independence procss?

Because it was much better this time?

Yep. That's the answer.

24 Nov, Wed, 18:30:10 Google: lyrics of bomb over baghdad

Besides people looking for nude Trish Stratus pictures, this is my most often hit upon search engine search. It's an old song. Why are people searching for lyrics for it? Makes no sense.

24 Nov, Wed, 23:53:58 Yahoo: fusion wrestling

That makes me laugh.

25 Nov, Thu, 00:17:48 Yahoo: How do u Spell ask me and find out in german

fragen Sie mich and finden Sie heraus.

I'm a fountain of helpfulness.

25 Nov, Thu, 07:13:06 Google: bert's blockbusters

The old album by Bert that I lampooned with my Bert and Osama post. Why are people searching for this? What makes you wake up and say "Hey, I'd like to hear Bert sing the hits!" Makes zero sense, kids.

25 Nov, Thu, 08:38:03 Google: server race warthog only

I now have Halo 2. You cannot race anymore. You cannot play hog wars. I am disappointed. Halo 1 on allowed you to select the race (which was fun by itself) put it to invisible markers with only three lives... and then ram warthogs, sending them twisting and turning into the sky. To kill, you'd have to knock the opponent out of the 'hog and then run him over. You cannot do this with Halo 2.

They have ruined the physics of the warthogs. Now when you smash warthogs into each other, there is a loud crash noise and no real movement off of the impact. Plus, they took out the race subgame. The only negatives in an otherwise great game. Sigh.

25 Nov, Thu, 10:57:54 Google: kim sun ill plea video

You are a sick asshole.

25 Nov, Thu, 12:19:51 Google: unitarian universalist and tax free status

Shouldn't be bestowed, because Unitarian Universalism is a bullshit faux-religion. The fact that shitty organizations like this don't have to pay taxes should infuriate everyone about their own tax-status. They literally get a free ride due to the fact that they sit around asking each other what each other believes. Support group, if anything.

25 Nov, Thu, 12:46:53 Google: Philadelphia jewish gangsters

Are probably the best gangsters possible.

25 Nov, Thu, 14:34:11 Google: "during sex" AND "professes love"

Anyone that professes love during sex isn't professing love for you, but for sex. Imagine if you made some guy a big chicken sandwich. And the guy bites into it and goes "OH I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU" while holding and looking at the sandwich. He doesn't love you, he loves your bread-slapping ability. Same with sex. Any male professing of love during sex is a profession towards your thigh-slapping ability, not you yourself.

Sex isn't love. Never has been, never will be. Sex is raw, unadulterated pleasure. To confuse it with "love" or to assign emotional status to it is the start of a very serious problem you will continually encounter. Every guy is going to love you during sex. You won't find one that doesn't. Don't even ask. If you HAVE to ask something during sex, ask for the guy's PIN code number for his debit card. Sure, it's not meaningful either, but at least you get something tangible out of it.

Beats fuckery whispers of platitudes and pleasantries.

25 Nov, Thu, 17:27:33 Google: Why the lyrics Bomb over Baghdad

See? It's nuts.

25 Nov, Thu, 17:33:45 Yahoo: german celebrities

Hmm... is Dolph Lundgren German? Are there German celebrities? I thought the only videos German's watched were sick as hell scat videos on public television. And please, nobody make the obvious Hasselhoff crack. That shit ruined Norm's run on Weekend update.

25 Nov, Thu, 20:31:28 Google: erika +

Boy, you sad-sack organized pedophiles are sure desperate for anything to try to attack us with. Nice try, wrong tree, Erika has never had anything to do with PeeJ. Good job with the Googling though, very advanced work! Snarf.

25 Nov, Thu, 23:02:53 MSN Search: celebrities react to bush re-election

Isn't it glorious to see the sadness?

26 Nov, Fri, 00:30:39 Yahoo: Dave Trimble washington

Is an asshole. And that's all anyone needs to say about him.

What have you learned? Sex isn't love, Michael Moore is fat, Dave Trimble is an asshole, people who hate PeeJ really do have too much time on their hands, and anyone that looks for a terrorist beheading video should really take a long walk in an Iraqi-run town.