August/2004: Cats - Today I am having an issue with one of my cats. His name is Mr. Colby Jones. You may know him better as the cat in the following picture.


Yeah, he's a lazy fucker

He's very lazy, as you can tell. I also have another cat named Miss Moxie Jones. She wasn't very lazy, but following Colby's lead, has gotten quite lazy herself.


Yeah, she's a lazy fucker

Together, my cats combine to be very, very lazy. They sit around laying on each other all day, looking at me hoping I have turkey. For they really like turkey.


Yeah, they're lazy fuckers

Typically, I have no issue with their laziness. I'm pretty lazy, as I like to be online a lot. So we're kindred spirits. We sit around in chairs together. However, there is a deviation. It has to do with food dishes and their cat tree. A while ago, someone gave me this swank, great six foot high cat tree for my two cats. It has been a godsend.


This is the cattree I have for them. Yep, it's pinkish.

In the cat tree, as you can tell, I have placed food dishes. The first is in the middle, behind Moxie in the picture. The second is on the bottom floor. I fill both up with food so they can stay away from each other when they eat.


This is the one in the middle, upclose


This is the one in the bottom, upclose

You will notice that the cat bowl on the bottom, has no food in it. Yet, the one in the middle is filled with food. There's a very simple reason for this. My cats are very lazy. They walk up, and both converge on the bottom bowl. It's quite annoying. But what is much more annoying is what happens when that bottom bowl is empty.

I am lazy, my cats are lazy. I am stubborn, my cats are stubborn. When the bottom bowl gets empty, I refuse to refill it until they wipe out the middle bowl. Once they wipe out both bowls, I refill the food. This is not a proper protocol for my cats. What are normally very lazy creatures get upset when they no longer can be lazy. They don't like eating out of the middle bowl because they have to jump to the third platform to do so.

Nevermind the fact that they climb up and down the whole thing all day, that's not an issue for them. But when it comes to food... it's an issue. If the bottom is empty, they freak out and start causing me a headache. They climb to the top of the cat tree and yell. As if I don't already know what the issue is. They flip around on the top of the cat tree and glare at me. I know what the issue is. I know that they want the bottom bowl filled so they can just walk up and be lazy. This, I know. I could very easily fill that bottom bowl to shut them up.

But fuck that. Those two lazy bastards think they can make me do extra work? HELL NO. Not only am I more lazy, I'm more stubborn. So today, they will yell and be pissed off... but by the end of the night, that middle bowl will be empty. And they'll have expended a lot of energy protesting having to eat out of it for nothing.

And I will have once again won.

Just a reminder: Don't try to fight the man. It's pointless.