You People Suck on Saturday Nights

July/2004: IM Convos - Saturday night is the worst night to be online. Why? Well, I explain in my desperation-bored series of conversations.

the_angrygerman: Saturday night is the most boring night online.
the_angrygerman: Nobody is online. Ever.
the_angrygerman: It says you're online.
the_angrygerman: But even you are not online.
satine: No she is not.
the_angrygerman: Apparently not.
satine: nope, she is sitting on the bed telling me not to talk to you.
the_angrygerman: You going to let her boss you around like that? What are you? Some kind of BOYfriend?
the_angrygerman: Not a manfriend, obviously.
the_angrygerman: But a boy.
the_angrygerman: Feel that burn.
satine: Oh yes, it hurts so much! It even hurts in the side.
the_angrygerman: No, that's syphilis.
the_angrygerman: I don't think I want to talk to you anymore.

XavierVE: This is boring. No one is online.
Aces: I was thinking the same thing
XavierVE: Obviously they're all gay.
Aces: heh
XavierVE: Only gay people go out on Saturday nights.
Aces: right...good thing we are straight...and have the ablility to sit in judgment
XavierVE: Without a doubt. Word up dawg style.
Aces: I am so effing bored
XavierVE: At least you're not gay.
Aces: tru
XavierVE: That's the choice.
XavierVE: Gay or bored.
Aces: I was gonna bust, but the whole talking sex to old guys has been sooooo done before
XavierVE: There is a point, when you get so bored, that there is nothing you can do.
XavierVE: Not work. Not anything fun.
XavierVE: Just bored.
Aces: ugh
XavierVE: It's a vortex which sucketh one in.
XavierVE: I'm IM'ing random people.
Aces: haver you ever been tired as hello...but bored??
Aces: I just hate that
XavierVE: Yep.
Aces: too bad its illegal to shoot people. That seems fun
XavierVE: I'd rather rob banks.
Aces: oooh
XavierVE: Then I would have money.
Aces: good call
XavierVE: And not be bored.
Aces: exactly
Aces: you donwn for hitting one of those 24 hour check cashing's not as secure as a bank, but has a bit of cash on hand..
XavierVE: God, that seems so ghetto.
XavierVE: No class in robbing one of those. At least bank robbers are glamorous.
Aces: cant argue that
Aces: and looks good if you get sent to prison
Aces: people line up to be your bitch
XavierVE: Yep.
Aces: hey. Do yourself a favor if you haven't already done so and buy, download or steel the new coldplay album. Fucking rules
XavierVE: They have another new one out?
Aces: steal*
XavierVE: Or is this the only one and you're just behind?
XavierVE: old.
Aces: cold rush of blood to the head?
XavierVE: Yeah.

the_angrygerman: Tonight is boring. No one is online
ruby: yeah, it's sloooow
the_angrygerman: You want to know why?
ruby: other than that, how're you doing?
ruby: what's up?
the_angrygerman: Because all the gay people go out on Saturday nights.
the_angrygerman: That's why.
ruby: lol
the_angrygerman: Only us straight people are online.
ruby: you have a good point! ;)
ruby: Though I have to admit, I was out until about 12:30 or so
the_angrygerman: You're gay then.
ruby: lol, I was out gaming. . .
ruby: Ruby = Geek
the_angrygerman: Gaming? What sort?
ruby: our bastardized version of Vampire: The Masquerade
the_angrygerman: Yeah, you're gay.
ruby: lol
ruby: ah well
ruby: so, once a month I'm gay. :)
the_angrygerman: Obviously.
ruby: meh, I SHOULD be checking my work e-mail, but I don't feel like pulling the laptop out of the backpack and switching the DSL cable over
ruby: I haven't had a chance to pick up a hub yet
the_angrygerman: Ah, that must be frustrating.
ruby: annoying, but yeah
ruby: might go do that tomorrow. . .not much planned for Sunday
ruby: yeesh, I'm not used to it being so quiet around here
the_angrygerman: Yes, all the gays are out.
ruby: yes, and some of us have come to our senses and returned home
the_angrygerman: You're still gay.
ruby: thpppppppppppt
ruby: so I'm a gay male trapped in a woman's body?
the_angrygerman: Basically.
ruby: ok, I can live with that

XavierVE1: There is no one online.
XavierVE1: This is boring.
erinyes: its saturday night
XavierVE1: So?
erinyes: all the cool people are out grazing for easy fucks
XavierVE1: Only gay people go out on Saturday night.
XavierVE1: That's what I say.
erinyes: uh
erinyes: i just got home
erinyes: hmph!
XavierVE1: Obviously you're gay then.
erinyes: heh
erinyes: it was the old mans bday we took him to chucky cheese
XavierVE1: Did you guys jump in the ball pit?
erinyes: no but we hogged all the games that gave out alot of tickets and I got a pair of fuzzy pink dice
erinyes: Im afraid of the ball pit
XavierVE1: True, could get pregnant in there.
erinyes: you get the balls on your face and little germy kids have been coughing all over them and shit
erinyes: haha
XavierVE1: Balls on your face? That's definitely gay.
XavierVE1: Explains a lot about why you went out tonight.
erinyes: not if you have a vag
erinyes: oh mr funnypants tonight
erinyes: fiesty!
XavierVE1: Tonight is boring. My regular IM people are not online, so I'm trying some of you kids out.
erinyes: so what are you up to
XavierVE1: Messaging people randomly and letting them know that only gay people go out on Saturday nighs.
erinyes: hmm I think they are only gay if they are single and going out
XavierVE1: They are gay regardless.
erinyes: youre funny
erinyes: can I call you george
erinyes: or javier
XavierVE1: No.
erinyes: not even Javier?
XavierVE1: No.
erinyes: What if english was my second language
XavierVE1: Then you really should have gotten around to learning it quicker.

XavierVE1: It is boring tonight. No one is online.
DJ: As is exemplified by your messaging me. :)
XavierVE1: Exactly.
DJ: But yeah, it is a slow night.
XavierVE1: Because you and I are the only non-gay ones.
XavierVE1: Only gay people go out on Saturday nights.
DJ: Yeah, I end up working most nights anyway.
XavierVE1: That is the same of a heterosexual.
XavierVE1: sign.
XavierVE1: It is too boring to spell properly.
DJ: How is Peej doing, anyway?
XavierVE1: Good, two arrested today.
XavierVE1: Sick people.
DJ: But I thought LE hated you guys? ;)
DJ: Whew, Erika's online, we can end our awkward conversation and use her as an intermediary when we disagree.
XavierVE1: Already one step ahead of you.
XavierVE1: XavierVE1: It is a boring night.
XavierVE1: Where were you?
XavierVE1: Did you get a social life? Damn your eyes.
XavierVE1: I had to resort to IM'ing Fat DJ.
DJ: Haha. Good night, then.

XavierVE1: It is a boring night.
XavierVE1: Where were you?
XavierVE1: Did you get a social life? Damn your eyes.
XavierVE1: I had to resort to IM'ing Fat DJ.
Erika: Haha. Watching the Godfather, and then Matt came over after work since he stays the night on weekends
XavierVE1: Obviously you're gay.
XavierVE1: Only gay people are not online on Saturday nights.
Erika: I'm online now!
XavierVE1: Too late. You have been judged.
Erika: :( I like the Godfather though.
XavierVE1: All homosexuals do.
XavierVE1: We heterosexuals like being online.
Erika: You don't like the Godfather?
XavierVE1: I do.
XavierVE1: Best opening scene in movie history.
Erika: So what does that make you?
XavierVE1: Non-gay. I watch it on Tuesday nights.
Erika: Haha, okay. I'll have to complain to CBC for tempting me with it tonight rather than on Tuesdays
XavierVE1: Obviously another in a long line of Canadian Conspiracies.

You're all gay. That is the explanation.