Do the Big Money Hustla-hustle!

June/2005: PeeJ Stuff - Finally! I done finally got muthafuckin' paid! All this time doing PeeJ stuff, and the money is finally flowing in like sugar in Candyland. It's been a long, long struggle, but volunteering for the site has finally paid off, and not only paid off... but in spades! It's such a big deal that I actually charged the batteries on my digital camera in order to take a picture of the check for proof.


Feel that scrizzle flava. Yeah baby, that's a zero next to that 1. We're talking double-digits here. I earned each and every one of those dollars (Even dollar number seven) by going to Kansas and testifying against Spongebob_Giantdick. Though... I didn't actually end up having to testify. That just makes the manna money even more pimptastic. Thank you, Mr. Giantdick, for providing me the opportunity to...

Shit, what am I going to do with my newfound bounty?

Hmm. There are quite a few options, after all. I think I'll discuss the options in my new Blog-feature called "options for my faux-testimony money." I have to give it some sort of official name, obviously.

My blog presents... *drumroll*...
Options for my faux-Testimony money
A. Well, there's always the first thing I thought of, which is Taco Bell. Not only will ten dollars cover the cost of Taco Bell for me, but it will actually cover the cost two-and-a-half times. That means we're talking... FOUR spicy chicken burritos and FOUR double decker tacos. Plus like... a buck left over. The only con to this option is that I'd be eating food that originated, indirectly, from a guy named spongebob_giantdick. Creepy.

B. Combine it with five bucks and buy a six-channel soundcard. I've been meaning to upgrade my soundcard for almost a couple years now. I have two channel audio and a six speaker system. Pretty lazy not to upgrade. Only problem with doing that is that I don't really play my music that loud to begin with, so why have six channel sound? To string some speakers behind my head? Hmm.

C. Save it. HAHAHAHA. Right. I know me better than that.

D. A box of Fancyfeast for the cats. I saw a box at Winco today for ten bucks, 12 or 24 cans of Fancyfeast. Can't remember which amount. The major con is that they usually bat around Fancyfeast cans until I feed them some. Otherwise, I just like feeding my cats Fancyfeast. It's such a Grey Poupon thing to do.

E. Find someone and go to the Kennedy to watch a movie and eat some pizza. The major con to this is finding someone I would want to go with. Seems like I shouldn't have to perform work in order to spend money.

That's good enough. Four decent options and a joke. Regardless of what I do with my newfound bounty, I'll be better off than ol' Robbie Francis, because hey, I'm eight years younger, not a internet predator and ten dollars richer, big money hustla style.